Is Yelling At Your Child Helpful?

If you’re like me, that’s not something that you ever wanted to do … yelling at your children.  And, it was usually over silly simple stuff.  Do you or have you ever done that? Is yelling helpful to the situation, to you or to your child?

Habit-forming, yelling became a way of not only discipline but getting our sons to do what I wanted them to.  Did I like it when I was yelling?  Absolutely not!  I regretted it every time. So, why did I continue yelling, why couldn’t I stop?

I couldn’t stop, but God could get me to stop if I depended upon Him.  I also didn’t realize the damage I was doing to our sons self-esteem by yelling, not to mention the fact that it instilled fear instead of respect.

So many exterior things coming at me and our eventually wore me out and I took that frustration on the children I loved more than life itself, and I took it out on my husband.  The demands of being a mother.  I know there are mothers who work outside of the home and others that work inside of the home.  The truth is, we are trying to do it all, to be Super Mom and/or Super Wife. You get it, I’m sure.

That was me, trying to juggle everything, not drop anything, remember everything, make sure everything is done, try not to take work home, trying to give time to my husband.  Stresses of life! Does that ring true for you?

God’s Word talks about “exasperating your children”, it talks about being “peaceful”, it talks about “disciplining your child”.  So, knowing all of this, how come it can become a problem?

Our flesh, trying to control a situation, aggravation at over repeating yourself time and time again and getting that blank stare.

Children love their parents, there is no doubt, no matter what is going on in the family unit, they love their parents to the end.  What I didn’t realize then was that I was teaching my children by yelling, as was my husband, was how to handle stress and how to get your way. Because, guess what they did to each other? Yes, yelling! It was very hurtful, but God being the God of redeeming, He redeemed our family! What is your weakness? Deliver it to God!

Redemption is the act of giving back what was lost.  Psalm 107:2 “Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out and tell all that God has done for you.”

Start each day with GodWhat was lost? Christ-minded behavior, Christ-likeness, victory over the flesh. God sent a redeemer for our very souls, Jesus, so we would know the purpose for our life.  Too many times, we allow issues, small ones usually, to build and build, and they must have an outlet. Whatever it is that you are doing that is harming the children, the marriage or family unit, there is victory.

Contrast this with the scripture that spells out the characteristics of Christ: love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, long-suffering (what?), forgiveness and the most important is … Love.

That is how we overcome the stresses of life, with love, because God has exhibited all of his love towards us.

Daughter of the most High King, I encourage you to turn around and find quiet and peace for yourself. You may be saying, “Where? When?”

Sit down and really look at your day, and if you will start your day and end your day with spending time with God in His Word, in prayer and contemplative listening for His voice and touch, peace and joy will begin to flow all through your mind and heart. You will find that place of love that unwinds all of the stresses, even when difficulties come.

Because you know why?  You are not alone! The King of Kings is with you, loving on you, encouraging you, teaching you, ministering to you no matter what.  Just be aware of His presence at all times. Praise Him over and over throughout your day.

Give your children to God, calmly talk to them, praise positive behavior in them, spend time with them, do things with them that they enjoy doing.

And, the peace of God will overshadow all of what was before. Ahh, victory, can you feel it? Peace that just flows and covers like a soft warm blanket. Embrace God, embrace His ways, cultivate that relationship.

  • What methods have worked for you to turn the page on yelling?
  • What other things do you struggle with?

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