“Up on the housetop, click, click, click, down through the chimney” … I know, Christmas is over. However, up on top of the house is where I was this morning, taking care of things that needed to be done since Roadrunner had to work today – sweeping out the chimney.
There are times when you just have to take care of things and this is just one of many days. Sometimes I don’t want to take care of things, I just want to vegetate. Don’t you? I find it frustrating that we put off so many things and we miss out on the good stuff along the way … like cleaning the clutter so we can find our way. One minute I’m walking towards this cliff that evokes such fear and trembling and the next minute I’m stepping over it onto … beauty and freedom!
What we keep hold of in our lives that’s not good for us becomes “comfortable”. I’ve found that to be very true for myself. I know I should let it go, no matter what that is, but it’s like I’m stuck. We want freedom from the hurts, but yet, how do we? We want answers, logical answers, we want someone to fix what is wrong. Many times, we know something is wrong deep inside, but can’t put a name to it. While we know that, it can be so ugly that we don’t want to get near it, we just want to keep it hidden away.
If you look through my first Bible that I got when I was 44 and see all of the writing in it, you would probably be glad you didn’t know me. I was a mess! I made a lot of mistakes, it didn’t seem that I learned from them and the train track just seemed to never end. I’ve thought a lot about that, why wasn’t I learning, why did I just keep repeating the same life issues over and over? Why couldn’t I have the freedom that I so desired?If
And, more importantly, where was God in all of this? Why was He not doing anything? Why weren’t things getting better? Have you had these thoughts? Like I said, I was a mess. I certainly didn’t feel that God was close, why not?
Isaiah 59:1-3 – Indeed, the Lord’s hand is not too short to save, and His ear is not too deaf to hear. But your iniquities have built barriers between you and your God, and your sins have made Him hide His face from you so that He does not listen. For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers, with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, and your tongues mutter injustice.
Smack! That was certainly true in my life as I look back at those times, but there’s more to tell.
I’m walking towards a cliff, and I know the edge is out there somewhere, but I can’t see it because it’s dark out. There’s this overwhelming fear that I need to stop, and I can’t for some reason. I-JUST-KEEP-GOING. It feels as if I’m all alone, there’s nobody to stop me, but at the same time there’s this curiosity within me. What’s over the edge? Nothingness, that’s what’s there.
It’s like being in a desert, you’ve been walking for so long and you’re tired, thirsty and hungry. But wait, there’s something in the distance, it’s a huge picture. Say what? A huge picture and it’s the most grotesque picture I’ve ever seen, so much so, that I freeze in one place. God has His hand on my back beckoning me forward, and I’m saying “NO!!! Why would you want me to go there! It’s hideous!”
But, yet I do start walking forward only because at that moment I know that God is with me.
Psalm 16:7-8 I will praise the Lord who counsels me — even at night my conscience instructs me. I keep the Lord in mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
I keep walking and the closer I get the picture looks like it’s alive and moving. God, still beckoning me on, I keep walking closer, the curiosity building and yet the fear is still there. You see, that hideous picture that I was seeing was the junk in my life, in my heart and it was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. I didn’t want to touch it, I didn’t want to deal with it, I just wanted it to stay … back there.
What’s your junk look like? It’s been weighing you down for so long, it’s time for you to have freedom!
I keep walking forward and the picture is changing before my eyes, why is it changing and what is it changing to?
I see what looks like blood on a large paintbrush in the hand of Jesus, and He is painting over that hideous painting. And, even though there’s blood on the paintbrush, when He touches the painting, it becomes the most beautiful colors I’ve ever seen. It is the most beautiful painting, and seeing it brings such peace and joy into my heart, it just floods inside and lights up all of the recesses.
My dear friends, God wants your junk, and He wants you to walk with Him right up to all of it. Open your hands, open them wide, raise them up to God and tell Him, “It’s yours, God, I don’t want this anymore!” Can you tell Him, will you tell Him? We all want freedom from the clutter in our lives, in our minds and in our hearts. Stand up! Raise those arms up high! Claim the promises of God that you are redeemed, that you are no longer enslaved! Believe the promises of God that you have freedom in Jesus Christ! Let the light of God shine in, let Him repaint your life.
And God, where was He all those years? Right there with me, waiting for me to quit running, to be too tired to run anymore that I would realize He was there … waiting to start the healing.
The cliff I was walking towards? Yes, I stepped over it and God had a brick waiting to catch my first step, and also with each step I took over that nothingness. Nothing at all to fear! The bricks are the journey we are on to healing; God has them ready to take us to the next one right where He wants us to go. Looking back behind me, no bricks so that I can backtrack. God doesn’t want us to move backward, only forward, trusting Him all of the time, through every struggle, through everything.
- So, where is God taking you?
- Where has He taken you from?
- How do you see your own life?
- What do you have clutched that prevents you from freedom?
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