Expectations of Super Mom and Super Wife

I had a dream once; actually, I’ve had the same one several times.  I dreamed I went to work with two different colored shoes.  What? Crazy, right? Well, it happened one day. Oh, yes, it happened, nobody said anything, but they were laughing when they saw.  Embarrassed, of course. But, what could I do?  You’re laughing right now, too. Admit it. I won’t tell you about my other crazy dreams, though.

Previously, these same coworkers would tell me, “You’ve got so many things going on, yet you’ve got it all under control, you can do anything ”. Yes, Super Mom or Super Wife, whatever that is, others believe it’s true and of course I have to try to live up to that expectation.

I certainly don’t feel super at anything, in fact, I feel pretty behind most of the time.  Sure, there are many things I would like to do, and of course “complete”, but time does slip away. Who wouldn’t like to have more time to do other things? I certainly would.

super Mom
When you have all of the balls in the air and you can’t keep anymore up, how can you have time for anything else?  What I think about is what do I have to let drop so I can have time to do what it is that’s been waiting for me?  It’s like having a job outside of the home, you work crazy all of the time, and it can interrupt your sleep.  Then, you get a vacation and you take a couple of days or a week. When I go back after vacation, it makes me wish I hadn’t taken the time away because now I’m way behind.  Sound familiar? You may just want to scream AHHHHH!

But, time away gives you a refreshing, rejuvenation of your mind and . It also benefits those you love and care for much more than you know. The Super Mom and Super Wife mentality causes us to feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. Why is that anyway?

Super Mom and Super Wife to kids, husband, friends, coworkers, anyone who I let have a peek into my life.  We certainly want to be Super Mom and Super Wife, but what is the cost?  What does it cost us?

It costs me relationships because I don’t have the time I would like to invest deeper. It also costs my spirit, my body and my mind.  There is a reason we are pressured into having little time, it is the plan of the enemy to steal our time so we have very little to give to God or to our loved ones.  Doing things for our loved ones isn’t all they need, they need US!  They need our non-distracted, devoted time for them.  I remember when my husband used to work these crazy hours in retail, he would come home exhausted.  Our sons wanted his attention, but he was just exhausted.  Eventually, it also took a toll on our sons and when my husband realized this, he made sure he had time for them every night.  They were like little sea urchins hanging onto him wherever he went, whatever he did, they did things together.  It was funny and it was an answer to prayer.

My friend and I went and stayed on a mountain in a cabin for a week, just relaxing and chatting and laughing, crying, ministering, singing, praying.  It was wonderful! And, it was something I thought I would never be able to do.  I also realized something else, I never thought it would be something I would “like” to do. But, it was wonderful, it was needed, it was invigorating, it was deeply inspirational, it was a healing balm to my soul that I’ve needed for so long.

Evaluating all of the crafts that are in my home, most never started, some never completed.  Does that sound familiar? My husband would ask me why I was buying more “crafty” things if I already had so many.  Why is that?  Because I would like to do them, the reality is that I don’t have the time. And, I don’t have the time because I have just let things pile up, drop a ball, pick it up and an extra one to boot.

I’ve had to slow down, take a breath and realize I can’t do it all, I can’t be Super Mom or Super Wife.  Yes, I’ve juggled all the balls in the air, too, trying to keep everything going.  However, at some point, you get tired.  What can I do? Realize that I’m human, that it’s okay I can’t do everything all of the time. I’ve sat down and made a list of everything that I do, and rated each one on importance.  There’s a lot of wasted time, a lot of things I need to quit doing.  Of course, there are also things I need to do, like organizing, going through papers, books, magazines and trashing it.

  • What are some things that you have done to decrease the clutter and the expectation of Super Mom in your life?
  • Have you taken some “me” time lately, or ever?
  • Have you taken some time with your husband, just you and him enjoying each other’s company?

I encourage you to do that soon, and we’d love to hear about it.

Share with us some organizational tips that have helped you in your super busy life. And, remember, take some time for you.

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